


Scars Unseen

by blueelvewithwings



Series: Spanking Sunday [60]
Category: The Flash (TV 2014)
Genre: Aftercare, Cuddling & Snuggling, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Emotional release, M/M, Multi, Non-Sexual Kink, Repressed Emotions, Spanking, Therapeutic spanking, insecure!Barry
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-03
Updated: 2020-05-03
Packaged: 2021-03-01 16:53:39
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,353
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23980375
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/blueelvewithwings/pseuds/blueelvewithwings
Summary: Everyone is glad that Barry is doing so well. And he is, he's his bubbly, happy, grinning self, and there is no way that any hurt could be hidden under that infectuous laughter - or could there?
Relationships: Barry Allen/Mick Rory/Leonard Snart
Series: Spanking Sunday [60]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1154240
Comments: 4
Kudos: 102





	Scars Unseen

Realisation came to them slowly. It was hard to see, with how smiley and bubbly Barry was all the time. There almost never seemed to be a moment of sadness, a moment of fear. There was anger, sometimes, but mostly rightfully so, directed at whichever meta he was fighting that week. But really, maybe they should have known based on that already. Nobody was happy all the time, especially not with a life like Barry. But well, neither Len nor Mick had ever claimed to be good at emotions and touchy-feelsy. 

And yet, with time, they noticed some things that were amiss. How sometimes, when the thought that no one was watching, Barry’s smile slipped and turned into a pained grimace, or a wall of sadness just for a moment. Len sometimes caught Barry holding a place where he’d been hurt weeks ago as if it was still hurting. When he explored the spot later under the guise of giving Barry cuddles or a massage, there never was anything. No scarring, no bruising left, nothing that had grown back together the wrong way. 

Sometimes he saw Barry flexing his hand that he’d broken on his run-in with his childhood bully turned metal meta the same way Iris still sometimes flexed hers. Only that Barry had been fine hours later again, while Iris’ hand had actually had to heal back together with actual normal speed, and Len had overheard Caitlin saying that likely, she’d always retain some stiffness in that hand. But Barry… Barry should long have forgotten that something had ever even happened. 

And then there were the nightmares. Mick was the first to notice them, as Len slept light enough to be woken by the gentlest breeze when they were in a safehouse, but slept like the dead when they were safe and sound in their own house, with Barry snuggled safely in with them, where he belonged. But Mick told him about the nights that he woke up because Barry woke from a nightmare, panicked and out of breath, and how sometimes he was just twitching in his sleep, clearly terrified and in pain, but not waking up. 

There was the fact that Barry was absolutely  _terrified_ of thunderstorms, hiding and crying and panicking even when Len and Mick held him safely in their arms and protected him from hearing anything as best as they could. 

When they asked him why he was so scared of them, Barry rubbed his neck and looked away. “They hurt”, he murmured, then shook his head and quickly changed the subject. 

There were no lightning scars on Barry’s skin.

But with time, Len wondered if maybe Barry’s scars were no less  _there_ just because they didn’t show on his skin. Maybe they just showed themselves in different ways. 

It was Mick who pointed out something else to Len, something that in hindsight should have been pretty obvious. 

“You ever notice how the Doll doesn’t talk ‘bout his parents?”, Mick asked him one night, when Barry was sleeping upstairs already, recovering from being run through with a metal bolt and almost dying. Len had made short work of the meta that had done so to his Scarlet, but it had still taken all of Caitlin’s expertise and a lot of praying (that Len pretended he didn’t do) to ensure Barry’s survival. His wound was almost healed now, but he had been pretty out of it still, so Mick and Len had put him to bed, and now they sat on their sofa, feet on the sofa table and a glass of wine and a bottle of beer between them. 

“How do you mean? He never stops talking about them”, Len wondered, as Barry always still emphasized how much he was doing everything to make his parents proud, and he often told them about their childhood, and how great his parents had been. 

“Yeah, ‘bout that. But not… how he feels n shit. With them being dead, y’know.”

And if that wasn’t true. It was very rare that Barry showed or addressed the grief and pain he was feeling, or that he talked about what the loss had done to him. He always seemed to just push it away, or to turn it into anger to direct at the next meta of the week… or Eobard Thawne. There were days when he disappeared to go to the graveyard to visit his parents, on their birthdays or the anniversaries of their deaths, but he never really spoke about it. When he came back, his smile was always back in place, and he was happy and ready to move on. At least it seemed that way. 

But Len started to wonder now, was he really?

And the next question was, how could they find out about that?

They started slowly, carefully poking Barry about his feelings, his wellbeing, but always, they were met with a blinding smile and the assurance that yes, he was doing great. Even if just a few moments later, Barry was wincing with some pain that couldn’t possibly still be there, or was staring off into the distance, deeply lost in some dark thoughts.

No matter how much they tried, there was just no getting through to him. He’d always assure them that he was fine, that he was healed, that everything was okay, but the way he behaved when they weren’t looking belied his words. So in the end, there wasn’t much that they could do to make them talk… not much apart from the one thing they knew would always make him talk. 

It took a bit of preparation, Mick cooking about twenty batches of Barry’s favourite foods and Len prepping their bedroom, and then they had to wait for Barry to come home. Len had already called Cisco and told him that Barry was off Flash duty today because he needed a break. Cisco had been silent for a moment, and then he’d told Len that he had better make sure Barry was feeling better after his day off, and had hung up. 

When Barry arrived after his day at the precinct, Mick was still in the kitchen, cooking up the last bits of dinner, and Len was on the couch, nicely propped up and watching the door, ready to get up when their speedster came home. 

“There you are, Scarlet”, he drawled and pushed himself up, sauntering over to Barry and drawing him into a kiss. “How was your day?”

“Just the usual. Too much paperwork, really”, Barry replied and sagged against Len, clearly tired from the day. For a moment, Len regretted what they were about to do, but really, there was no way around it at this point.

“As always. And people let you handle it because they know you’ll get through it fast… poor baby”, he hummed, then took Barry’s hand. “Come upstairs with me, I want to show you something.”

Barry looked a bit confused and curious, but he went along easily enough. Mick came out of the kitchen to collect his hello kiss, then winked at Len as soon as Barry’s back was turned.  Len gave him a smirk and a nod, and then took Barry upstairs into their bedroom. 

“What do you want to show me then?” Barry asked, looking around. He looked puzzled as he took in the darkened windows and the red silken sheets on the bed. “What’s that for?”

No sooner had he asked that question that Len grabbed his wrists, turned them onto his back and held some meta-dampening cuffs against them, letting him feel what they were. He’d made the mistake of snapping them on without warning Barry or asking for his consent once before, and he’d paid with a black eye, a dislocated rib and a Barry that hadn’t spoken to him for over a week. Suffice to say, Len had learned his lesson. 

“This okay?” he asked now, pushing the cuffs against Barry’s wrists without letting them snap in place yet. “We have a scene planned for you, and we want to make sure you can’t vibrate out.”

Barry had gone rigid as the cuffs touched his wrists, but as Len spoke to him, he slowly relaxed again. He nodded, once, but pulled his hands out of Len’s grasp. 

“Cuff them in front, please? And safeword’s banana.”

“Sure. Just make sure you can lie on your front still with them cuffed” Len told him and nodded. “Banana. Got it. Mick will be with us in just a second.” He took Barry’s wrists again, and this time Barry held them out easily to be cuffed together. He then pulled him in for a sweet, gentle kiss and then brushed through Barry’s hair. “Alright. Lay down on your front, please, and make sure it’s comfortable, you’ll be like this for a while.”

“What are you going to do?” Barry asked, but obediently crawled onto the bed, getting comfortable on his front. Len helped him put a pillow under his head so he could stretch out nicely with his arms over his head and still properly breathe. 

“I’ll tell you when Mick is here, yeah? He’s cooking up enough lasagna that even you will be full for a while, for proper aftercare dinner. He’s had the last batch in the oven for a while, so he should be here shortly.” Len sat down next to Barry on the bed and started to stroke his hair. 

“Oh, I love lasagna”, Barry murmured, tilting his head so Len could better reach his hair. Somehow being in meta cuffs always made him immediately drowsy, and if it happened with Len and Mick around, it was an almost instant way to get him into subspace. 

“I know you do, Doll, s why I make it”, Mick chimed in from the door, and Barry turned his head to smile at him. 

“Thank you, Mick. You’re the best.” Mick chuckled and took off his apron, hanging it on the door handle and closing the bedroom door behind him, leaving the room almost completely dark with just some light shining from under the door and beside the blackout fabric that Len had put in front of the window.

“Love ya, Barry”, Mick replied and sat down on the other side of the bed. “You already tell him what’s up, boss?”

“No, I said we’ll wait until you’re here. Now, Barry. Mick is going to slowly undress you while I’m telling you what’s happening, okay? Remember your safeword, it’s banana, and if you get too uncomfortable or need a break, you can always ask for one.”

He waited for Barry’s affirmation and for Mick to start moving in the dark, starting to take off Barry’s socks, before he spoke again. 

“You’re always so good, Barry. You always take everything that’s being thrown your way, you never back down, you never try to escape. You always face all the danger head-on, sometimes even running into it while knowing what might happen to you. You always take all the pain, all the hurt, all the dangers for others, but you never seem to want to protect yourself. And yet, you always smile, you always seem to be doing well, you’re always your happy, bubbly self. But we see you, Barry. We see you hurting, even though you pretend you’re not. Your physical injuries heal fast, but no one ever thinks about the mental side of things… the emotional side of things. And you never make them, Barry. You never make them think about it. You watch your skin heal and grow back together and you laugh it off and pretend you’re all good again. You run headlong into danger and pretend that it’s just to protect others, and has nothing to do with you, but we know it has. Running into danger means you don’t have to think, doesn’t it? It means you don’t have to remember all that’s happened to you because you get to live in the moment for a bit, even though you know that it will only add to your trauma. Sometimes you think running straight into your own doom is the only way to prove yourself, to prove your worth. Isn’t it, Barry?”

There was no answer from Barry, but a wet sniffle that their speedster pretended didn’t come from him. And Len would let him, for a while. It was why the room was dark, after all. 

“We think it’s time to teach you what you’re worth to us, Barry, and that we care about you. About your pain, your sadness, your innermost thoughts. You’re not just a hero speedster to us, Barry, you’re our partner.”

By now, Mick had finished undressing Barry from the waist down and was gently pushing Barry’s legs apart a bit so he would lie there in a more stable position. He then moved up and Len could just make out his shape, bending down to kiss Barry’s cheek. 

“We love you, Doll. Gonna make sure you know that.”

“Exactly that. Now, Scarlet, we’re going to spank you, and I want you to let go of all the bad things you’re holding on to. Ball them all up in your mind, and with every slap, we will push them out of you. You can let go of them. We are here to take care of you.”

Mick shifted back so he was sitting directly across from Len, and Len gave him a smile even though he knew that Mick couldn’t see it.

“Ready, darling?” he asked. There was a bit of shuffling noise, and then a quiet “...yeah.” He assumed the shuffling had been nodding, before Barry realised they couldn’t see. 

“Alright. Remember, you’re just Barry here. No Flash. That’s why you have the cuffs, alright? You’re our Barry here. And keep in mind what I said. All the bad things… gather them in your mind and we will drive them out of you.”

He waited for another affirmative noise from Barry, then gave Mick a nod, making sure to turn so he could see it even in the darkness. 

On his cue, Mick lifted his hand, and then let it come down on Barry’s ass in a swift swat, not enough to hurt, but enough to be clearly noticeable. This was not a spanking to physically exhaust their speedster, after all… this would be more of a mental thing. Barry jolted a little, clearly surprised despite the fact that they’d talked about it and told him what was happening, and Len reached out to place a steadying hand on his back. 

“It’s alright, kid. It’s alright. We’re here for you, remember that, okay? We’re here, and we have you.” He looked over at Mick, just soon enough to see his hand come down again with a smack, and even though it was too dark to see Len knew how deliciously Mick’s spanks could make Barry’s ass move and wiggle. Barry was lying still now, clearly waiting for the bulk of the spanking to happen. This would be a tough one to crack, Len thought. This was deep inside of Barry, his worries, his emotions, and he’d locked them away very tightly so they were almost invisible. It would take quite a bit to break open that mental strongbox. 

After a few spanks, Len raised his hand as well, and let it come down just as Mick had finished another swat. That made Barry jolt a little again, but didn’t draw a sound from him. Nonetheless, Len had to hold back a smirk with the knowledge that they’d managed to surprise their darling. It only took a few moments for them to find a rhythm, giving Barry neatly alternating spanks. This wasn’t about continuously surprising him and keeping him on the edge, after all. This spanking was supposed to be like a wave, growing and growing and growing and growing before it crested and crashed over Barry, hopefully causing the emotional release he so clearly needed. But until then, it would be steady work, just Mick and Len spanking him with one hand each and keeping the other on his shoulders or back, steadying him and grounding him, making sure he knew they were there, right at his side, ready to catch him when he needed it… after they had toppled him off the cliff. 

As he had already thought before, it took a while before Barry even started to react to the spanks, with little gasps and tiny wiggles of his backside, not enough to be a flinch, but clearly a reaction to his slowly pinkening and reddening butt.  Len had been spanking his left side for now, with his bare hand, while Mick had been working on his right, with his hand in his usual leather glove. Len looked up and searched for Mick’s eyes in the dark, and it took barely more than a nod for them to shift and let the next spank from each of them fall on the opposite cheek, essentially switching sides. This drew a surprised gasp out of Barry, and a little jerk, as if he was trying to get out of the meta cuffs he was in. 

“Scarlet?” Len asked, gently pressing down on his shoulder while stroking it with his thumb. He couldn’t see Barry’s face very clearly, so it wasn’t easy to tell how far down into subspace their darling had floated already. 

“Mh...” Barry responded, but managed to turn his head enough to nose at Len’s hand. He took that as a good sign, and let his next spank fall after Mick had had his turn. 

After that, it only took a few more minutes before the first sniffles could be heard, and Len knew that they were nearing the point where Barry would break, where the dam would collapse and all of the things that he’d been holding back would be tumbling out… just like the foam, dirt and debris on the top of the wave, being swept away by the force of it and leaving only clear water behind. 

The sniffles grew louder, turning into little hiccuping sobs, but Len and Mick kept up their rhythm and the strengths of their spanks, knowing that Barry needed it to let go of all the things he was holding on to. 

And then, after a few more moments, the dam broke. 

Suddenly, there was a big, heaving sob, and Barry was crying, crying like a little child, sobbing into his arms, sounding lost and scared and terrified. 

Mick immediately stopped his ministrations and lay down next to Barry, drawing him into his arms  while Len still continued to spank him, evenly letting the swats fall on both of Barry’s butt cheeks. 

“Talk to us, Doll”, Mick murmured, and Len could feel Barry’s body shift as Mick pulled him close to hold him and stroke his hair.

There were a few more moments of Barry just crying and sobbing before he had gathered himself enough to speak. 

“I just… want to make them proud”, he sobbed, clearly snuggling close to Mick but making not attempt to pull away from Len. “Everyone tells me that I can do things all the time, and then I want to be able to do them… want to make them proud… want to make it true.” He sniffled, and then fell silent again for a moment, letting the room be filled with just the sound of skin slapping on skin and his muffled sobs, probably a result of him being snuggled into Mick’s chest now. 

“I just… everyone tells me what a hero I am and and and… I just have to do things.”

“No you don’t, darling. You’re as much a person as anyone, you have a right to have your life and to be happy and to not put your life on the line all the time, risking things and getting hurt and being in danger… no one can ask that of you.”

“But.. I’m the Flash”, Barry murmured, sounding almost embarrassed to say it out loud.

“Yes, you are. But first and foremost, you are _Barry_ , and that is very important. I know everyone expects the Flash to be out there and be a hero, but you yourself come still first, you know. If you’re still healing, or it’s too dangerous… there are other options. There are always other options, Barry.” Len let his hand come down again, trying to emphasize what he was saying with his swats. 

“I heal fast”, Barry murmured, and even though it was dark Len knew he was biting his lip now, probably trying to hold himself back from saying something stupid like him getting hurt didn’t matter because he would heal fast. 

“On the outside, yeah. What about the inside?” Mick asked him. 

His question was met with a sob and then the sound of Barry crying hard, sniffling and sobbing and frantically trying to catch breaths as all his emotions poured out of him. He didn’t react to Len’s spanks at all anymore, but Len wasn’t sure how much he was even still aware of them, so he gave him one last swat and then left it at that, lying down on Barry’s other side and hugging him from behind, shuffling forward enough so his chest was pressed against Barry’s back, encasing him between Mick and Len. 

“We got you, Barry. We have you, and you’re safe”, he murmured, gently stroking Barry’s hair as they let him cry it all out. He was sure Barry would be embarrassed about the amount of snot he was leaving on Mick’s clothes later, but he also knew that Mick would not mind that at all. Mick never minded when Barry drooled on him as he slept, so he also wouldn’t mind this. 

Lying there in the darkness, with a crying Barry in his arms, Len had no idea how much time had passed until Barry calmed down again, his crying slowly dying back down to some sniffles  and his breathing evening out again from the frantic sobbing he’d done.

“What about the inside?” Mick asked him again, and Len felt Mick’s hand joining his in running through Barry’s soft hair. 

“Takes… longer”, Barry admitted, his voice meek and quiet, almost as if he didn’t want them to hear what he was saying. 

“And that’s okay”, Len told him, gently, quietly, as to not startle Barry with how close he was. “Healing takes time. And healing is more than your skin growing back together.”

Barry sniffled at that, and turned around to snuggle close to Len. 

“I never… thought about it like that”; he admitted, sounding tired and worn out. “But it… it makes sense, I guess?”

“Yeah it does”, Mick grumbled from behind him. “S what humans do.” He pushed himself up then, and then bent down again to kiss both Barry and Len on the temple. “N Healing hurts, too. S Another kinda pain.”

Len nodded and started tracing pattern on Barry’s back. “Did you know that grief is also a form of healing? Grief is the process you go through to heal from a loss in your life.”

“But I’m not grieving” Barry immediately gave back, sounding surprised.

“So maybe you should be, so you can heal”, Mick immediately countered.

“Look, what we’re saying is… have you ever properly let yourself grieve? For your parents… for Eddie. For what your life could have been without that one Lightning strike. For erased timelines, for things that could have been but never were. You always… Barry, you always push it away, and you always say you’re fine, but you… you won’t be fine if you don’t allow yourself to grieve, to heal. Sure, anger is a stage of grief, but only one of them. You can’t just… you can’t just channel your hurt into anger and recklessness, Barry. It will get you killed, and it won’t make you happy.”

There was silence for a moment then, before Barry shuffled and his handcuffed hands came to rest on Len’s chest. 

“Can you take these off?”

Baffled by the lack of reaction, Len immediately did so, only to then by surprised by Barry pushing even closer and throwing his arms around him and burrowing into him, holding on tightly. 

“Thank you”, he whispered, and Len was sure he didn’t only imagine how wet-sounding his voice was. “Thank you so much...”

And then Mick was there, hovering over both of them to press his face in Barry’s hair and nuzzle along the side of his face.

“Of course, Doll. We’re always here for you.” Mick’s deep rumble rolled over them, and Len could just make out Barry turning his head enough to catch Mick’s lips in a kiss. 

“Thank you”, he murmured. “I think I… I think I needed to hear that again.”

Len chuckled and pressed a kiss to Barry’s cheek, only to be rewarded with a kiss on the lips from Barry as well. 

“Tell us a story about your Mom?” Mick asked, clearly not ready to let go of the subject yet. And Len could understand him, he really could. This was not something that they could just talk about for five minutes and then forget again. But he also wasn’t sure if Barry could take anymore, so he reached out and placed a hand on Mick’s arm, ready to stop him if need be. But Barry just hummed and sat up, using Len as a support to push himself up on. 

“Hm… cream on my butt and dinner, and over dinner I’ll tell you a story?” he asked, and Len pushed himself up as well so he could hug both of his partners close, making them topple over again into a cuddle pile. 

Lots of cuddles and giggles later, all three of them were sitting upright again, and Barry slid off the bed. “Sounds like a plan, what I said before?”

“Sounds like a plan”, Len echoed, and stood up as well to let the light in again and follow his two men into the kitchen. 


End file.
